


no hard feelings

by ZeroFizzy



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arnold Rimmer as Ace Rimmer, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Post-Legion, Season/Series 06, Slow Burn, actually vaguely canon adhering for once!!, i also fill the series 8 - 9 gap later on but not until the end, the trials and tribulations of being a gay disaster and finally getting a hard light body, veryyyy slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25371544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeroFizzy/pseuds/ZeroFizzy
Summary: Finally getting a physical body is great and all, but if it means Rimmer has to analyse his less-than-platonic feelings for his shipmate, maybe being able to touch is overrated.(aka; rimmer tries to navigate the daily struggles of being a hard-light hologram while hopelessly pining for lister)
Relationships: Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer
Comments: 35
Kudos: 92





	1. a hard day's night

**Author's Note:**

> oh god, i'm doing another multichapter. i wrote this whole chapter at 3am so if it's remotely coherent i consider it a win. enjoy.

It had all started when he'd gotten that damned hard-light body. Not that Rimmer didn't like it, quite the opposite - he was spending an embarrassing amount of time that day picking things up and putting them down again just to remind himself he could. However, having a body again, or at least a close approximation, meant he had to face up to something he'd been pushing firmly to the back of his mind for the last few years.

He was in love with Lister.

The thought made him itch. Every shred of his sanity, every last ounce of his common sense was repulsed by the very idea, but somehow his heart hadn't got the memo, and the feeling persisted. He couldn't put his finger on when it had started. 

The more he tried to make sense of it the less sense it made. Lister? David Lister? A man who's dirty laundry set off the carbon monoxide alarms? Who, playing guitar, could singlehandedly ward off all sentient lifeforms in a hundred mile radius? A man with no ambition or drive or-

Oh smeg. It didn't matter, none of it mattered. And now he was hardlight he couldn't use being a non-corporeal dead man as an excuse anymore.

The overhead lights flickered, the ship groaned, the engines buzzed faintly. Rimmer stared at the top of his bunk, thinking about everything again. It was strange; if he closed his eyes, it almost felt like life before the accident again. Thin, ship issue duvet on skin, the presence of the bunk above him. Of course it wasn't quite right, mostly for lack of Lister's snoring in his single quarters on Starbug, but it was close.

Somebody knocked on the door. Rimmer startled, propping onto his elbow,

"What?"

The door slid open, and a familiar gerbil-y grin looked back at him "Just me," Lister laughed, one arm moving to lean against the bunk and the other holding a lager.

"What do you want?" Rimmer said tersely

Lister raised his hands in mock surrender "Chill out, man. I just wanted to see how you were going with the whole 'having a body' thing,"

"It's splendid, very bodily, now would you please vacate my quarters?" Rimmer glowered

Lister ignored him "It's just I would've thought it'd be quite cool, you know? You've been whinging about not having a body for so long I'd think you'd be over the moon now you finally have one again,"

Rimmer relented, sighing out something approaching a laugh "Yeah, it's not bad, I'll admit,"

Lister quirked an eyebrow, as if asking him to continue.

"I drank six cups of tea earlier, you know that herbal crap from supplies nobody goes near?" Rimmer admitted "I don't even like tea, it's just been so long since I tasted anything it seemed like the most exquisite drink crafted by man,"

"But you could drink stuff before, couldn't you? You've been drunk with us plenty of times," Lister said, puzzled.

"But I couldn't taste that. It's like having water fed to you when you have an entirely numb mouth, just the vague sensation of a liquid, nothing more,"

Lister hummed, nodding, before seeming to remember why he was there "Oh, yeah, right. I smuggled some drinks out of my cell of Legion's ship, me and the Cat were gonna have them tonight. You wanna join?"

Rimmer almost considered the offer, but decided against it. With the places his brain was going he didn't trust himself to be anything less than sober around Lister "No, I'm alright, I might just get some sleep,"

"You sure?" Lister tried, but seeing Rimmer shake his head, he gave up, patting the top of the bunk and leaving without another word. 

"Lights," Rimmer called, flopping back onto the hard mattress. He closed his eyes, thoughts racing, painfully aware of every fibre of cotton on his blanket, ever particle of air moving past his face, his brain repeating thoughts of Lister like a mantra. He opened his eyes, letting his brain invent little coloured lines in the dark of the plain roof above his bunk.

It was going to be a long night.


	2. morning coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter again today, i might make them longer as the plot gets heavier but for now i don't want to pad it out too much. and yes im updating twice within 24 hours i have no life and you can't stop me.

"You look like death," Lister remarked pointedly when Rimmer emerged from his quarters the next morning. Rimmer's brain formulated a few responses, mostly along the lines of 'Very funny, make fun of my death again, why don't you?' and 'What a witty line, how did you come up with that, dog-breath?' but he didn't have the energy to argue, so he just grunted and plonked down gracelessly at the table across from Lister. 

"You want a coffee?" Lister offered

"Don't be a gimboid, you know I can't-" Rimmer went blank "Oh, wait,"

Lister laughed "I'll take that as a yes,"

Rimmer hardly noticed Lister drifting out of the room, nor did he notice him walking back into the living area and setting the drink on the table until he jabbed him hard in the ribs.

"Do you mind?" Rimmer screeched

"Sorry, man, sorry," Lister said, not looking remotely sorry "It's just weird being able to touch you,"

Rimmer grumbled and took a sip of his coffee. No milk, two sugars, just how he liked it before the accident. Did Lister really remember how he took his coffee after all this time? The thought made him feel something that could only be described as 'fuzzy'. Oh god, not this again.

He'd hoped a good night's rest would make him forget about... whatever this was, but no such luck. He'd barely slept, and even with the half hour or so he did get, the night had done nothing but make the thoughts stronger and more persistent than ever before.

"You alright man?"

"What?" Rimmer said, snapping back to reality

"You were staring at me," Lister looked at him with a mix of amusement and something unplaceable

"Sorry," Rimmer squeaked, taking another gulp of coffee so quickly he nearly choked.

Lister eyed him warily "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Better than ever. Absolutely tickety-boo." Rimmer said, smiling unconvincingly "Where are the others?"

"Oh, Kryten's doing the laundry and Cat's on shift," Lister said, leaning back "Speaking of,"

Rimmer looked over his shoulder and saw Cat in the doorway to the cockpit.

"Dormouse-cheeks, changeover. I've been sitting there for so long my suit's getting creases on the ass," 

"Anything interesting happen?" Lister asked, pulling on his deerstalker and getting up from the table.

Cat shook his head "Nothing wibbly, swirly, or Red Dwarf-shaped,"

Lister sighed and headed for the cockpit. On his way out of the room he patted Rimmer on the shoulder - an unconcious, casual gesture, but enough to make Rimmer's entire body seize up and heat creep up his cheeks. It was probably the closest to physical affection he'd recieved in three million years, and his brain felt like it was short-circuiting in response.

He ducked his head down to hide the embarrassing blush, and once he was sure the room was empty, rammed it into the table. 

He really was going space crazy.


	3. making a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit fluffy and not much happens, but lots is happening in the next two after this, so dont worry.
> 
> btw, thank u all for the lovely comments!! i never know how to respond most the time but i read and appreciate all of them :))

Physical body returned to him, Rimmer's first plan of action was to do something he'd missed dearly over his time as a hologram. Make a revision timetable.

Considering that he was dead, humanity was almost extinct, the space corps were effectively defunct, and Red Dwarf was slowly getting further away by the day, perhaps getting promoted should've been the least of his worries, but he was Arnold J. Rimmer, so of course it wasn't.

As an added bonus, the trance-like state he entered whenever he was making his trusty revision timetables, complete with their painfully neat labels and bright watercolour washes, provided a welcome distraction from what he was now referring to (internally, of course) as his 'gay thing'. Not a crush, mind - he was a hardened space marine, he didn't get crushes - but a thing. A thing that would go away on its own if he ignored it enough.

At least he hoped so.

He focused on his paint job, the pastel hues of Monday slowly changing to the more urgent colours of the weekend as the two-week timetable progressed. He was so engrossed in the task that he didn't notice the Cat spinning into the living area until he went up to the desk and plucked the paintbrush out of Rimmer's hand

"Cat, what the smeg are you doing? That's mine!" Rimmer shouted

Cat stopped mid-twirl and looked at him "Not anymore it's not,"

With that he yowled and slid out the room. Running on precious little sleep and lacking the small amount of patience he usually had, Rimmer decided to go after him. However, in his moment of annoyance, he blissfully forgot that his new body meant he couldn't take a shortcut through the table. 

Crash. That was his knee, ow. Crash. The table rocked out of position, before falling back down to the floor. Crash, crash, kerplunk. There went the paints. In a final insult to injury, his mug of painty water wobbled precariously, and with the most obnoxious sound yet, shattered on the floor, spraying water down Rimmer's trousers.

A slightly panicked looking Lister appeared in the entrance to the cockpit "What the smeg was that? It sounded like someone set off a landmine in my nan's china collection,"

Rimmer looked down at his sodden trousers, then to the spectacular mess on the floor, then back up to Lister, momentarily having nothing to say for himself. "Walked into the table," he managed faintly

For a few moments, they both stood in silence. Then Lister started to laugh. Hysterically.

"It's not that funny!" Rimmer protested

Lister gasped, crouching on the floor from the strain of his laugher, and cleared his throat "No, no, you're right,"

His straight face lasted a good five seconds, and then he was off again.

Looking back down at the mess he'd created, Rimmer realised that he did look a bit of a tit, and despite himself, started laughing as well.

When the moment had ended Rimmer looked up at Lister, who was sniggering as he wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his jacket, and was overcome by the thought that he looked beautiful like that.

Oh smeg, not this again.


	4. hard times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohoho boy, this is a long one (at least by this stories standards). tw for brief mention of blood + injury (very very briefly).
> 
> i might go on break soon but i'm on a writing roll so its daily updates for now haha

The day was going rather well until the derelict ship appeared on the scannerscope. Lister being Lister insisted they go to investigate it, whether it be for the potential of an attractive female human survivor or a restock to Starbugs dwindling curry supplies this time Rimmer wasn't sure, but with typical enthusiasm Lister prepared for the derelict salvage mission.

However, less typical was that, because he was now just as physically capable as the rest of the crew, Rimmer was roped into boarding with them.

"I still can't believe you're letting a metal toilet cleaner man the ship instead of me," Rimmer moaned, shaking hands gripping the bazookoid as he followed behind Lister. As soon as he'd heard Rimmer was coming with them, Cat had decided to explore alone, so it was just the two of them.

"He's more qualified. Besides, you've been tetchy for ages, maybe getting off Starbug will do you some good," Lister said over his shoulder

"I have not been tetchy!" Rimmer snapped

"You have," Lister returned calmly "You keep going off with the slightest provocation, it's very funny to watch but not exactly nice to be around,"

"I do not get angry at the slightest-" Rimmer shouted, before cutting himself off when Lister raised an eyebrow

Rimmer breathed out deeply, nostrils flaring "I can't believe I have to put up with this,"

Lister rolled his eyes but added nothing else, so Rimmer settled for glaring angrily at the back of his head.

Suddenly, a lot of things happened at once. Rimmer, abandoning the tactical formation in favour of getting a better angle to hurl insults at Lister from, was preparing another tirade when he noticed something off about the floorboard Lister had just stepped on. In a purely instinctual and completely stupid moment of bravery, Rimmer hurled his full hard-light weight towards Lister just in time for the section of the floor of the derelict to explode.

Crash. White light hitting the grotty walls, then nothing.

Lister got up from his spot on the floor a safe few metres away and blinked disbelievingly for a moment, before rushing over when he realised what had just happened.

"Did you- did you just save my life?" 

Rimmer blinked dazedly, pushing up onto his elbows "Not on purpose,"

"You did! You just saved me. I'm almost impressed," Lister laughed, before his expression turned "Smeg, man, you're bleeding,"

"Don't be silly, Lister, holograms don't bleed," Rimmer scoffed, looking down to his shoulder to find a noticeable but growing patch of blood on his quilted jacket. Well, Legion hadn't mentioned that feature.

"It's alright, we'll head back to the bug and get Kryten to look at it," Lister reassured. When he didn't get a response, he prompted "You alright?"

Rimmer stared fixedly at the now sizeable patch of blood on his shoulder blade and, in a far less brave and impressive move, passed out cold onto the floor.

\---

When Rimmer came to, he was first aware of somebody sitting him down, then his shirt being removed, then the sound of some cursing, followed by an unpleasant sensation in his shoulder. He opened his eyes.

A familiar voice, with a familiar scouse accent "Oh, there you are. You've been out of it for half an hour, man, I was about to pour cold water on you,"

"What are you doing?" Rimmer mumbled groggily, aware of hands on his shoulder but not awake enough to work out what they were doing there.

"Stitching you up, guy. You really smegged up your shoulder out there," Lister said 

"I don't need stitching up, I'm a hologram, I can probably just will my injuries away," Rimmer murmured

"I don't care, it's the principle. You did something really brave, man, it's the least I can do. Now keep still, I'm nearly done,"

Rimmer almost smiled at the gesture before his rational conscious brain kicked in and he realised what was happening. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Lister was tending to his wounds with the gentleness of a mother. Lister's hands were touching his shirtless body. He tensed, face going red.

"Hey, whoa, does it hurt? You've gone stiff," Lister said, voice teetering on panicked

Rimmer spluttered something unintelligible, not meeting his eye

"What?" Lister asked

"Nothing, are you finished yet?" Rimmer snapped, eyes wide.

Lister nodded warily, backing off "Yeah, just about. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Quite sure," Rimmer said through gritted teeth "Now would you please get out,"

"What's up with you?" Lister asked incredulously.

'I'm sorry but the concept of you seeing me topless is putting me into a state best described as gay panic, please don't stop though,' is what Rimmer wanted to say, deep down at least, but what came out was 

"Forgive me, Lister, but having a man who smells like madras sauce diddling with my clammy, shirtless body wasn't how I pictured my ideal afternoon," 

Lister scoffed, shaking his head, and stood up "Typical, Rimmer, just typical. You can put your own shirt back on,"

He slunk out of the medibay, the door sliding closed behind him. Rimmer bit his fist.  
  
This was getting ridiculous.


	5. writing a speech

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a nothing chapter for now, but uhm,,, it gets Angsty next chapter so hold on for that. 
> 
> also, when i tagged this as 'vaguely canon-adhering', i meant vaguely. im honestly proud of how well ive stuck to it so far, but just as a clarification, the events of rimmerworld never happened in whatever branch of the multiverse this story takes place in, and this chap happens just before the events of out of time. this is the only canon blunder as far as i know but i just thought id mention it. anyway, enjoy >:)

Rimmer really thought he had a handle on his 'thing'. Well, perhaps he knew he didn't deep down, but he'd managed to convince himself until now. Since the derelict, however, it was all spinning wildly out of control.

Why had he saved Lister? Why did he turn to jelly at the thought of him stitching his wounds, remembering his favourite coffee, caring about him? 

David Smegging Lister. It was all he was thinking about. If someone had told him when he was still alive he'd be dedicating this many of his waking (and sleeping, if he was honest) thoughts on another man he would've assumed he was on the Freaky Fungus again. Not to mention that the man in question happened to be a classless, unwashed, space bum who didn't even enjoy his company.

But now it was all he could think about. Lister's laugh, Lister's accent, the way Lister was always kind to him even when he didn't deserve it, Lister, Lister, Lister. This was stupid. In a brief and utterly misplaced moment of confidence, Rimmer decided to tell him.

Right. Yep. He was doing it. Telling Lister. He'd jumped into an explosion for the man just this week, why not do something else brave? He'd do it. In a minute. When he'd sorted something out.

He got up from staring into space on his quarters and decided to prepare the way he new how, by writing it all down and hoping for the best. However, it proved fruitless. After staring at the empty page for a few minutes, he came up with a better idea. What if he practiced first?

Making sure no one was nearby, Rimmer pulled out the vid recorder and headed for his quarters.

"Hello Lister. No, that sounded crap," Rimmer sighed and shifted in his seat, barely aware of the vid recorder blinking in front of him "Hey, uh, Listy. Oh, this is still crap, I don't care. I've been thinking about this for a while now and-"

"Well, I mean, not that long. And I don't think about it very often or anything. In fact, I barely think about it at all-" He desperately backpedalled, before sighing again "Okay, scratch that, I've been thinking about this for ages. I... like men. Romantically. And..." Sexually? Yes, he may as well admit it considering what he'd just said "Sexually."

That was step one. That sounded fine. He could say that in front of Lister. Now for the trickier bit.

"A-and that's not the only thing I need to admit. Lister I like you. As in I like-like you as in-" He cut off with a groan; he sounded like a schoolgirl "You know what I mean,"

Words tumbling out of his mouth before he knew how to stop them, he continued "And I don't know why it is but I do. I like everything about you in some strange, roundabout way. And I don't know what I'd do without you if I'm honest with myself, Dave,"

He chuckled to himself "Well, I'm not saying that bit in person,"

Feeling far more confident about the whole situation, he leant to finish the vid when an alarm sounded throughout starbug.

Lister appeared in the doorway "Rimmer, man, we've hit some stellar fog. Get in here, now,"

Startled, Rimmer clumsily stopped the vid recorder and shoved the vid in the nearest drawer he could find, dashing for the cockpit.

It could wait.


	6. out of time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and angsty chapter today leading into the less angsty and far less short ones coming up. as this fic runs alongside series six/seven i knew i had to do something for out of time, so here we go.
> 
> what can i say, i love making my favourite characters suffer >:)

The unreality pockets were one thing, their future selves another, but this-

This was hell.

'Better dead than smeg' was never a phrase Rimmer expected to come out of his mouth, but there he was, doing his second brave thing of the week. He really thought he deserved a medal for this by now. And, it was all going to plan; he'd help waste their future selves, Lister would see him in a new light, and when the moment was up he'd tell him everything he'd practised in the bunkroom.

Until their future selves shot back.

And they killed Cat.

And Kryten.

And Lister.

And Lister.

Before he realised it, he was crying. Real, messy crying, the like of which he hadn't known since his first night as a hologram. Mourning his own death. Lister hadn't said anything, he couldn't really considering the state he'd been in himself those first few days. 

Lister. That Lister. Infinitely kind, insufferable Lister. Dead. The words didn't fit together. Lister, dead. It was an oxymoron.

Without thinking, he'd grabbed a bazookoid and ran with it, fueled by enough rage to make even a polymorph lose its appetite. This wasn't just for Lister, it was for Kryten, for Cat.

He thought about a night, just under a week ago, where Lister and Cat had been playing video games on one of the monitors, and Kryten had annoyed them both by trying to polish the screen as they played, and Rimmer had occasionally looked up from his book to complain about the racket. 

And Rimmer thought about how normal and unexciting it had felt at the time, and how there was a real chance, almost a certainty, that he'd never have a day like that again.

He thought about Lister, breaking focus from the game to tell him to smeg off, and Rimmer, telling him to be careful playing the game or he wouldn't have enough energy for his evening slob, and how much he longed for another interaction like that, even if he'd never admit it to Lister. If he could ever admit it to Lister.

Without another thought, Rimmer took aim for their future selves' ship and fired.


	7. long night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in 24 hours,, i really dont have anything better to do with my time. i'll leave a little gap between this and the final chapter though i promise :)
> 
> if you've been following this fic all this time, thank you! and please leave comments, i know i dont respond directly much but reading through them is probably my main motivator to finish this fic :^)

"What's up with you?" Lister's voice said softly from an unplaceable spot above Rimmer's head.

The timeline was back to normal, everything was fine, right? But Rimmer couldn't stop thinking. Lister had died. Lister had died and it was his fault. And for once, it wasn't just Lister. His whole crew, all dead. Even if the timeline didn't, even if they didn't, he still remembered how it felt to stand in Starbug's cockpit knowing what it felt to be well and truly alone in the universe.

He distantly wondered if this was how Lister felt all those years ago when he got out of stasis. He hoped not. It was worse than death, and Rimmer would know.

"You're not still thinking about the time drive thing, are you?" Lister asked after a moment had passed, snapping Rimmer out of his thoughts

"It's hard not to," Rimmer grumbled

"Look, I know we died and that, but we're here now, aren't we? Me, Cat, and Kryters. We're fine now. Technically speaking it never even happened," Lister tried

"That's not the point,"

"Then what is the point?" Even in the darkness, it was clear that Lister was dangling his head over the bunk, locks hanging "Last I checked you didn't even like us."

Rimmer considered this, and then barely audibly, said "You know that's not true,"

Lister breathed out, pulling himself up and flopping back onto his bunk "Really?"

"Sure," Rimmer said, words leaving his mouth before his tired brain caught them "Well, maybe not Kryten, or Cat so much. But you're alright, sometimes. And it's the principle. I don't want to be alone out here,"

Lister made a noise that sounded like a laugh, and when he spoke again, the shit-eating grin could be heard in his voice "Whoa there, did you just call me 'alright'? Who are you and what've you done with my bunkmate?"

Rimmer chuckled "Listy, I can't believe you have such a low opinion of me. I'm not completely heartless, it's hard not to at least tolerate someone if you're trapped like rats in outer space for this long,"

Maybe tolerate was a bit of an understatement. Or a lot of an understatement, if he was honest, but even in a moment as sappy as this, Rimmer still had his common sense.

"You're a strange bloke, Rimmer," Lister laughed, and after a pause "But if it means anything, I think you're alright as well. Smeghead,"

Rimmer's chest felt funny, but not entirely in the warm and fuzzy way it used to when Lister said things like this. Now the feeling was different. This was probably the only man in the whole multiverse who'd ever considered him 'alright', if Rachael was out of the equation, and here was a man who'd almost died because of him. True to form, whether it be by ego or something more deep-rooted, Rimmer felt responsible.  
\---

When Ace arrived on the ship a few days later, and Rimmer reluctantly took his place, only one thought crossed his mind; he wouldn't hurt Lister again.

As he left the sleeping quarters for the last time, he remembered something; the vid he'd made to practice what he'd say to Lister. Before he could change his mind, he dug it out from under his mattress and left it on the bunkroom table where he was sure it would be found, then left the room without looking back.

This was the right thing to do.


	8. going home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> right, its finally done, the longest multichapter ive reached the end of. thank you guys so much for putting up with the agonising pining, misery, and will-they-wont-they of this fic, and i hope this ending is everything you hoped for.
> 
> now, bear with me while i try to fill the 8 - 9 gap without distracting from the ending because i accidentally wrote myself into it last chapter. whoops.
> 
> (also, remember when i said id try and leave a few more days before i published this? yeah no i couldnt help myself)

Many, many years, and even more dimensions later, he was home.

When Rimmer finally found Red Dwarf again, his Red Dwarf, the relief was shortlived when he realised the state it was in. A chameleonic microbe, fixable in a snap of fingers for someone like Ace, but far beyond the technology of three people on a rusty disused mining ship. 

He'd cleared out the microbe, put out the fires, and was just on his way to the drive room when he came face to face with... his own dead body. Well, not him. Him three million years ago perhaps, slim and clad in that horrible JMC uniform.

"Oh, smeg," A voice said from down the corridor. Rimmer's head whipped up and he came face to face with-

"Listy," 

"Rimmer," Lister breathed out

The clacking of footsteps, a female voice "Oh god, he's dead," she was staring at the body on the floor. Kochanski. Rimmer's heart dropped to his stomach.

"Should probably give the man a sendoff," Rimmer said drily, looking Kochanski up and down with something he hadn't felt in many years; jealousy.

She looked up, as if just noticing Rimmer's presence "Wait, is that-"

Lister stepped forward, ignoring her "Are you, you know, my Rimmer? Our Rimmer?"

Rimmer laughed, dropping the Ace voice "Afraid I am, miladdo,"

Lister grinned, closing the distance and pulling him in for a hug. Rimmer startled at the unexpected affection, but returned it. Too soon, Lister pulled away again "I've missed you, man. It's not been the same without having someone to drive me spare,"

"Well, you don't seem to be starved for company," Rimmer said, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice as his gaze roamed from Kochanski to the younger version of him that still lay on the floor

Lister looked sheepish "Yeah, uh, it's a long story. Come on, let's head back to Cat and Kryten and I'll explain on the way,"

\---

Rimmer stood overlooking the hangar and sighed. Of course, just his luck, he leaves to be a space hero and comes back to find Lister's found his ex and moved on. If he'd been less of a coward, if he'd just told him in person-

Footsteps behind him. He looked over

"What do you want?" He grumbled. Kochanski sighed and leant against the rails next to him

"That ship of yours, can it cross dimensions?" 

Rimmer eyed her curiously "Why, hitching up with Lister not good enough for you?"

"I'm not in love with this Lister," She said gently "You are,"

Rimmer looked over at her, panicked "How did you-"

She laughed "I'm sorry, it's none of my business, it's just he's watched that damned vid you left in the bunkroom so many times I can practically recite it from memory,"

"Really?" Rimmer asked incredulously

"Yes, really. It's a little sad if I'm completely honest,"

They stayed in silence for a few moments, until she seemed to remember why she was there "Oh, right, about that ship-"

"You can use it. I'm not leaving again," Rimmer said sincerely

Kochanski smiled at him, eyes lighting up like a pinball machine, and Rimmer could see why Lister used to like her so much. But not anymore. Now was his chance, he thought, he'd just have to man up and face him.

\---

Rimmer walked into the cockpit, familiarity washing over him as he looked at all of the broken lights and mess littering the floor, so far from the neat and unfriendly pilot seat of the Wildfire. Lister looked up from his panels as he walked in.

Rimmer hovered behind Lister's shoulder, suddenly unsure of what to say. Lister mercifully broke the silence himself

"So. What's it been like? Come on, I know you're dying to tell me," Lister asked casually

"What, the Ace thing?" 

"Yeah. Go on, brag about how many delicious alien princesses you've hooked up with or how many civilisations awarded you medals for being handsome and brave," 

"What would I get out of that?" Rimmer asked, genuinely puzzled

Lister looked at him curiously for a moment

"You've changed, man. You're different." When Rimmer raised an eyebrow, Lister hastily added "I mean good different, like,"

"Well, I'm glad I finally have the David Lister seal of approval," Rimmer said sarcastically

"I'm serious, man. You know, I watched that vid you left a few times-"

"I know," Rimmer admitted. When Lister looked like he was about to say something, Rimmer cut him off "Kochanski told me,"

Lister sighed, then began quietly "Did you mean all that? That you, you know, liked me?"

For the first time since he left to be Ace all those years ago, Rimmer felt a blush creep up his cheeks, and for once he didn't try and hide it "I'd be lying if I said I didn't,"

Lister's lip quirked as he stared at him with an unreadable expression. Just as the silence was stretching so long Rimmer was about to ask Lister if he was having a brain haemorrhage, he finally spoke up

"Can I tell you something really gross and embarrassing I'll probably regret later?"

Rimmer looked at him warily "Go ahead,"

"I had a dream about this. Like, of us in here, and you coming back,"

Rimmer quirked an eyebrow "Oh, really?"

"Yeah. I had it a few times, actually," Lister said, not meeting his eyes

"And what else happened in this dream of yours then?" Rimmer asked carefully, getting the feeling he was missing something

Lister looked up at him "This,"

Before Rimmer could ask him what he was drivelling about, a pair of lips met his. His chest felt like it would explode. He kissed him back. This, Lister's hands in his hair, Lister's hands on his arms, Lister's hands cupping his face like he was the most important thing in the world, this was indescribable. This was everything.

When the moment eased, Rimmer was left in Lister's arms, expectant gaze meeting his. He swallowed.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Rimmer admitted breathlessly

"And I you, I guess," Lister said back

"Really?" Rimmer asked, caught off guard

Lister laughed "I don't remember just anyone's taste in coffee,"

Rimmer suddenly felt rather stupid "You mean...?"

"I've liked you for ages, you smegger. When I thought I'd never see you again it was one of the worst feelings in the world,"

Rimmer's tone suddenly grew more serious "I'm sorry for leaving you. To be Ace, I mean. I'm sorry for just.. just leaving my confession there and smegging off like a coward, I should've told you properly."

Lister smiled at him "It's alright. No hard feelings, eh?"


End file.
